Even when the Music is Gone
by AidenH17
Summary: America just won the Revolutionary war, and England thinks America hates him. When he just wants to end it all, will America be there for him? Country names used because I was too lazy to change them half way in the story. This is a one-shot, but I added a bonus. Requested by LoveXOXOLuna. Please Enjoy, and Review! - USUK - angst - hurt/comfort - attempt of suicide
1. Chapter 1

_A/N 1 – This one-shot was requested by LoveXOXOLuna. Thank you so much for this idea!_

_A/N 2 – I was listening to Safe and Sound by Taylor Swift ft. Civil War while writing this (on repeat), so this will be extra sad thanks to the mood… XD… Anyway, enjoy the fic and I like reviews. Reviews make me happy, and I need happiness after writing this…_

_A/N 3 – This is written in Arthur's POV __J_

**_Even When the Music is Gone_**

I heard the music playing in the background, as Alfred announced his victory over me. Looking up at him was a new point of view. He looked like he had just gained so much power in just five seconds. In fact, that was the case.

I dropped to my knees when they started to weaken. Him gaining power in his body caused me to lose my power. I felt like if anyone touched me, I would shatter into a million pieces.

Why was he doing this? Did he really hate me that much? I was only hard on him because I didn't want him to be a suckish excuse of a country like I had come to be. I wanted him to be great, but he turned on me. I guess I deserve this. Really, I deserve it all. In fact, I don't blame him if he wants to kill me completely, and gain every bit of my land.

"England, leave," he says, pointing the tip of his gun in my face. His soldiers stand behind him, pointing their guns at my soldiers. The rain falls from his stormy sky, hitting my already tear stained face. "B-but," I stutter, not really knowing what I should say.

He cuts me off anyway, saying, "I have already declared my independence from you. Now, go… Please." He looks so angry with me, yet he too has tears rolling down his cheek. Whatever I want to say or do will not improve the situation in any way. I will only make this worse. I always make things worse.

I had a great relationship with him before this. Why did I have to ruin it by just being… me? I collapse completely to the ground, because I feel my strength leave my arms. "My colony… Look what you are doing to me?" I cry, falling on my face in the mud.

I roll onto my side, and curl up in a ball, not being able to face his or my armies like this. I look up to see that he has already left me. Did he really not care anymore? I got up, falling a few times in the process, and started to walk back to my ships. Half of my soldiers were already loaded up in them, but my troop was the last to get on.

I had my own room on one of the ships, because I was my country, and I had to stay safe and healthy. I stayed hidden away in my room, thinking about all the reasons America could have hated about me. Everyone hated me, now that I think about it. France and Canada, my two greatest friends, turned against me to help America.

I was all alone because… because everyone hated me. They hated everything about me. I was a sorry excuse of a nation. I was a sorry excuse of a human being.

The trip home lasted three and half days. I was the first one allowed to leave. My crew didn't make me work, because they knew what a toll this took on me. I went home immediately to my house—

I HATE CRYING. I cried and cried in my room alone for what felt like hours. "WHY DID HE LEAVE ME?" I screamed into the empty, open air of my house, "Why don't you love me!" I started to cry even more.

I didn't eat or sleep for probably days. I just laid in bed, crying and screaming for him to come back to me. After the third day of what felt like sheer Hell, I decided to get up out of bed. Immediately, my knees buckled out from under me, causing me to fall on my hands, and knees.

I wanted to curl up in a ball, and cry some more, but I had to get up. I had to do something to get my mind off of America. I crawled over to my letter desk in my room, and used it to prop myself up. On it was an old note that was sent to me by America, back when he loved me.

I sat down in a chair, afraid that I might fall again, and started to read:

_Hey England!_

_How are you doing? I miss you sooo much! I have grown a lot since you last came to visit me! I even met a women like me called… Native America? She says she is like me, but she might die soon. I want to save her, but my people and your people keep killing off her people, making her weak. Can you help me out? Other than that… How is life for you? I really want to visit your land some time! You are the most wonderful person I ever met, England! You are even more amazing than France! Don't tell him I said that though… I met a boy who looks just like me! His name is Canada and Native America says that he is also like us. He is very quiet though, and always hides… I think he might be afraid of me. _

_On a totally unrelated topic! I came up with a great idea! What if, instead of spelling colour with a "u"… Let's spell it without that stupid "u", and just write color! We don't pronounce the 'u' anyways, so why not just kick it off the word! I want to change the world someday just like you. Maybe… now this is crazy, because no one can be as great of a hero as you, but I want to be a hero that fights alongside you someday! _

_I am not as strong as you yet, and I am also DEFINITELY not as smart, but maybe you can teach me a few things, and we can fight off the badlands! We can talk more about when you come and visit me! I love you so much, England!_

_Never forget it!_

_America_

I clasped my hand over my mouth, as I let the letter fall to the floor. I never visited him. In fact, this war was the first time I visited him in years. More tears started to fall down my face. Why was I stupid enough to read that letter? Of course it couldn't have gotten him out of my head. It only made things worse.

Out of angry, and pure hatred towards myself, I cleaned everything off my table with one swipe of my hand. Everything flew off, some hitting the wall, leaving a small dint in it, yet other broke the mirror next to me.

Shards of glass fell to the floor, along with the stand that was holding the mirror. I screamed internally when I realized that I just broke the mirror that America gave me as a gift when he visited here once.

That was the only thing besides the letter that I had from when he loved me. A mirror was such a stupid gift for someone, since everyone had at least ten of them these days, but the reason he gave me one was so sweet. He told me, 'I know it is kind of stupid to give you a mirror, since you already have fifty thousand, but I want to give you this _special _one, so that every time you look into it, you remember how much I love you!'

I always dismissed his statements of 'love' and 'remembering' back then, because I only saw him as a dependent micro-nation that was part of me. He was nothing special. He was not great. I only cared for him because he couldn't care for himself. Back then, I was surprised he could even afford a _mirror_.

Now it was _shattered. _Just like his love for me. I collapsed to the ground again, because of weakness and emotions taking a hold of every part of my body. I clutched the frame of the mirror, crying to the open air, yet again, "Why did this happen!?"

Nothing was going to get better from here was it? All of my colonies have left me. America was my favorite, and he was the most brutal when he declared his independence. He… actually loved me, and all I cared about was taxes and forcing rules on him.

I never returned his love completely, and now it is too late. I… I…I LOVE HIM. I am too late. Everything is too late. He hates me. I love him more than just my colony now. I love him more than just a source of money. I love, _love _him.

I have ruined everything.

I looked out the window of my messy, dark bedroom. The sun was setting, and shadows filled the streets with darkness. Looking down on my sad, lonely land, I realized. 'Maybe I should do one last thing for my America."

Though it took a few times, I finally got up on my own, and started to make my way out of my house. I walked by a rather large mirror in my hallway. I didn't want to look in it, for I feared of what I may look like. I still caught a glimpse of myself in the corner of my eye though.

My hair was messy and greasy from not showering the past few days. I was paler and more frail than usual. I still had my bloody clothes from battle, which were now almost hanging off of my shoulders. I looked like I hadn't eaten or slept in days, and that was exactly the case.

I slowly opened the door to the outside. People were already inside their houses, probably having dinner. Here I was… planning to, "Hey England!" I heard someone yell.

I turned to the voice, to find a newspaper boy waving a letter in the air, as he ran to me. "Oh… hey," I say, turning away from him, so he can't see me like this.

"I have a letter for you! It was supposed to arrive at your door two days ago, but I didn't see it until now! It says it's from-,"

"Look, kid. You can put that letter on my doorstep. I just- I need to be alone, ok? I'll come back later," I say, still facing away from him.

"Are you ok? Why are you still wearing your uniform?" he asked. I tried to ignore his questioned, and walked away from him. No more questions were asked by him, and I went on my way.

It was even hard walking when the rain started to fall from the sky. I felt like I was back on the battle field, surrounded by people that hated me. Hell, everyone hates me. I am always surrounded by people that had those feeling for me.

Why did I have to ruin everything? I wouldn't be having to fix it like this... America told me to leave. Why don't I leave completely?

Before I knew it, I was on the famous London Bridge that was built over a large river that ran half way across my town of London. I walked halfway across it, before climbing onto the ledge. The bridge was empty because of this hour in the night, so I just stood, and look up at the night sky for a few minutes.

The wind was blowing all around me, flying through and around my hair. The wind felt nice on my raw cheeks, but I feared of falling without expecting it. I stayed, staring at the crescent moon that was out tonight.

"I love you America," I admitted to myself, "I know you did at one point too. I was just… too stupid to realize it."

I heard someone shout for me at the end of the bridge where I came from. I knew if I was going to do this, I was going to have to make it quick, because the figure started to run to me.

"Ok, America. Before I jump. I just wanted to say… I hope you are great, as I used to be. You are a hero now, trust me. Thanks for… bringing me to my senses. It is just… time for me to go. I can't do this- I can't do this anymore without you. I can't live on, knowing that you hate me!"

My vision started to blur, and I started to cry loudly. I was surprised that I didn't lose my balance on the bridge yet. I heard my name again. I ignored it, as I looked down to where I was going to end it all.

The river below me was rapidly rushing forward because of the rainy weather. My legs started to shake at the height I was standing at. I looked to my left to see if the figure was still running for me. When I didn't see anything, I turned back around. I was actually content with the fact that no one was going to stop me. Maybe I just imagined it anyway.

I looked up at the sky again; closed my eyes, and smiled. "For you Alfred," I said, hoarsely. I started to fall forward to end it all. My feet were still touching the bridge when I heard someone shout something behind me.

I almost immediately felt something wrap around me, and I was being stopped from plummeting to my death. I closed my eyes, because I wasn't sure if I was saved, or this was what falling felt like.

It was confirmed that I _was_ saved when whatever was wrapped around me (presumably arms) started to pull me up. Before I knew it, I was being embraced in a hug. "Oh, England…" the voice cried into my neck, as I just stared into the waters that I should have died in by now.

I changed my attention to the voice when I realized the familiarity in it. That was when tears started to come for real. They stung my cheeks because my face was already raw from crying, but I didn't know how to stop them.

"Why'd you stop me?" I almost whispered, but was cut off by choking on my own tears. The person holding me was America. Why was he doing this? He pulled me away from the ledge, still hugging me, and said, "England I almost thought I lost you." It was almost like he didn't even listen to a word I was saying. That was actually probably the case, since he never did.

He fell to the ground still holding me in his arms, and started to cry over me. I thought he hated me. I hid my face, because I didn't want him to see how weak I had become, and I started to cry silently.

"England," America said, in the most serious tone I had ever heard before, "Why were you about to jump?" I could hear the anger and the sadness in his voice. Why was he crying over me? "You … hate me. Everyone hates me. I couldn't go on like this," I said, looking at him, still crying.

His eyes widened in surprise at my statement, and he said, "England I don't hate you! Didn't you receive my letter? I… sent it to you," he started to blush. "I- Oh… I wasn't in the mood to read any mail in the past few days," I said.

"Oh, well it said… It said that I love you. I didn't want the war to go this far. My people hated your people, but I could never hate you. I only wanted this, because I wanted to be as strong as you, so I wouldn't be a burden if you loved me back. I—you know, I knew I wouldn't stand a chance with you if I wasn't a country. You would always be embarrassed of me loving you. This was the only way I knew I had a chance. Now realizing what I did to you, I probably only made things worse, but you can't jump, ok? I love you, and I don't know what I would do if I lost you."

By this point he was crying, and holding me in his arms, as he told me everything that he had been holding up in his heart and mind. To be honest, I was crying to. "So stupid," I said, my words being muffled because my face was in his coat.

"What?" he asked, pulling away from me.

I stared at him for a second, studying him. He looked a lot stronger than when I last saw him. The way he wrapped his arms around me, proved his strength. He had a gaze of worry covering his eyes. I didn't know what I was going to say, but my mouth spoke before my brain could think, and I said, "I am - I mean, well, I don't know how to say this, but I l-love you too. I love you."

He smiled, and brought me into a hug. I wrapped my arms lightly around him, because I was still weak. "Oh, England. I love how we had to have a war to confess to each other," he sighed, laughing. I laughed a little too, and said, "So, congratulations on winning the war, by the way."

He started to rock me back and forth in his embrace, resting his chin on my head, and said, "Oh, I don't care about that. I only care about us, ok? I love you."

He pushed me away to stare in my eyes. He was drenched from the rain falling down on the both of us. His eyes had a sparkle in them that was far different from anything I ever saw. He smiled, and said, "England, promise me you won't ever try and do something as stupid as _that _ever again."

"I-I don't know," I said, stuttering. "No, England. You do. I love you. Promise me," he said, shaking me in his firm grip. He had tears flinging from his eyes, as he yelled these words. The desperateness showing through his voice as he cried made me cry. So, with tears in my eyes, I agreed, saying, "I love you t-too. I prom- promise."

He smiled, even though he was still crying. He brought my chin up with his pointer finger to look up at him. His smiled again, then leaned in to me, pressing our lips together. I was still a sobbing mess, and now, I was even worse – if that was possible.

We both cried on each other's lips, whimpering every few seconds, to keep ourselves from crying out loud. His lips were wet and salty from his tears and the rain, but I didn't care. They were sweet because of his feelings that were just said to me.

I love him. I don't know why I was stupid enough to try and… commit suicide. Who knew what would have happened if he didn't save me in time. I am glad we have both come to our feelings though. I am glad that this war was over.

"This war truly was revolutionary, wasn't it?" I smiled, teasing him, as we separated from the sweet and short kiss. "You have that right," he smiled, and leaned in again for a more passionate kiss.

As we kissed I thought about how happy I was that he declared Independence and showed me how great he was on his own. I love him as an equal now, and not as someone to take care of. This war had definitely opened up my eyes, and I can feel my true feelings in my heart.

"I love you, America," I smiled on his lips.

"I love you too, England."

_A/N: How'd you like it? To be honest, I am just writing and publishing a lot of one shots just to stall on working on the ending of the next chapter of Taken Hostage! XD. Sorry! Pls don't hurt me. *Hides behind America (Who will probably honestly move, so you can attack me)*_

_A/N: I bet you can guess what I am going to say… REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! THANKS!_


	2. Bonus

_A/N: I decided to publish a bonus of what Alfred's letter was along with the one-shot. This is kind of like a, "I'm sorry for abandoning Taken Hostage for three weeks, but I will publish again, I promise!" _

**_Dear England, _**

******_This is America… I bet you probably hate me right now, whether you won this war or not. I just wanted to let you know, that I want this for entirely different reasons than what I am being forced to say by my boss. I want… to be like you. I want us to be side by side as equals. I want you to love me, not just as a care taker, but because I make you happy. I love you England, and I don't want you to do anything stupid after this war. I don't know when the war will end, but hopefully this letter will get to your door in time. I will come as soon as I can when the war ends. _**

**_I love you for real,_**

**_America_**


End file.
